


Mending and Bending

by Stu (stunudo)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Family Drama, Jealousy, relationship angst, wlw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-05
Updated: 2018-04-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 21:58:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14222643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stunudo/pseuds/Stu
Summary: The reader and JJ were on their way to something special, but the work and jealousy got the better of them. Can their kids fix what their mothers let fall apart? Is the team going to accept them?Setting: Season 10 (Little AU backstory: Will left JJ after she never told him about her miscarriage overseas. So there is no baby Michael, sorry!)Warnings: Out of the blue, tiny bit of smutA/N: This is my second requested piece, thank you so much for thinking of me! I really hope you like it, she gave me a lot to work with! I added some dimension to the reader’s kids: Jonah (OC) and Lucy (OC). This was super emotional for me. I hope I hit some feels for you too! xoxo Stu





	Mending and Bending

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future." - Fulton Oursler  
_____________  
It was ironic, the days she wasn’t working a case were the hard ones now. When she was able to pick Henry up from school, you would see her. As you picked up your own kids, Lucy and Jonah from the same school, her bright eyes and eager smile dazzling from across the playground. There was a time when these were the best days, when she was home safely. Now the days had reversed and life was more surreal than storybook.

Jonah had noticed you watching JJ, but you just gave him a small smile and rubbed his buzzed head. “So, kiddo, how was gym class today?”

“Mama! No fair! I wasn’t going to bring it up.” He groaned. You sighed, letting it go. He hated gym class because his gym teacher couldn’t remember or wouldn’t try to use his male name. The rest of the school had been very receptive since Joni became Jonah officially, at the beginning of the school year. But since the gym teacher had taught him since kindergarten as Joni; it was still a slow process.

Where was Lucy? You scanned the jungle gym, the basketball court, the double doors that released the kids each day; she wasn’t there. Your search became more frantic, until you saw her little head running after Henry Lamontagne. ‘Oh, Lucy, not today sweetie, please? Mama wants to hide and avoid her,’ you thought. Suddenly your little girl was down, tripped over an untied shoe; the tears were eminent. You rush to her just as her ragged voice screeched, “Mama! Mama! I, I, fell!” She came limping to you.

You hug her tear spattered face to your abdomen, rubbing the back of her head. Henry came running back, grabbing your legs and Lucy into a tight squeeze. “Lucy, don’t cry,” He begged, “You can catch me tomorrow!” You smiled down at Henry’s blonde head.

“Thanks, Henry, that was one sweet hug, little man,” You whispered. You felt her blue eyes on your group hug, guilt mixed with regret and longing flushed your cheeks. You sighed, “We’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?” Henry nodded, rubbing Lucy on the back once more. You sucked up your pride and nodded at J.J. as Henry crossed the pavement. She respectfully inclined her head, the slightest smile on her usually cheery lips.  
__________________________________________  
“Y/N, that is ridiculous!” JJ snapped at you, her nostrils flaring.

“No, you think it is ridiculous, because you don’t watch him watch you,” You explained, trying to remain calm. “J.J., he still has feelings for you, you need to let him down gently, poor kid.”

She just shook her head at you, “I will say nothing of the sort. Spence doesn’t love me like that, Y/N. We’re family, not romantic, why can’t you see that?”

You sighed, the jealousy burning through you. Not only did the team get her at work, they were emotionally still with her at home too. You were sick of the denial, especially since she wasn’t sharing you with them. Six months together and she wouldn’t admit she had a girlfriend and you were the one being ridiculous?!

This was the fight that had made you wake up to how rapidly things had gotten unhealthy with her. This was the fight that was etched into your mind when your body yearned for her tiny waist and elegant features. It was the memory that grounded you, kept you from missing her too badly. That, and wine.  
_________________________________________  
You were swamped, you had two revisions due back to the authors by the end of the week, your usual sitter had bailed because of tonsillitis and your mom wanted your help planning your dad’s retirement party. Luckily, it was raining, so soccer practice had been cancelled. You sat in your Subaru, idling in the pick up lane, checking your email as you waited for the bell to sound, returning your babies to you.

Your phone buzzed with an incoming text, but you swiped it ignored as you finished a quick reply email. Then there were a collective pounding of little hands along the passenger side of your car. You unlocked the door, noting a pale face climbed in out of the rain with your littles.

“Henry is coming to our house!” Lucy proclaimed proudly. Jonah was the last one in, closing your family away from the noise and moisture outdoors.

“Hey Henry? Did you talk to your sitter before following Jonah and Luce?”

“Nope, Y/N,” Henry grinned, ”I asked my mom, duh!” Jonah laughed, “Yeah, Mama, JJ says it’s okay! She messaged you.”

“Hooray, Henry is coming over,” Lucy sing-songed. “It has been for-ev-er!”

You scrolled to your messages, sure enough JJ had sent it before, you realized. ‘Your kids’ cuteness wins again. Pick him up after dinner?” Your cheeks felt oddly tingly, you realized you were grinning like a fool. Your smile muscles strained from lack of use. You quickly replied: ‘Sounds like a plan! See you around 7?’

She sent back her signature thumbs up emoji in confirmation. You held your phone to your heart, allowing yourself a moment before pulling into after school traffic.  
_______________________________________  
Having Henry over lessened the gap your family felt during this transition. The happy life with JJ and Henry to the happy life after JJ and Henry, you had all been swimming in that gap between. Lucy wouldn’t leave his side the whole afternoon. Even while he used the bathroom, she waited outside the door. She kept talking to him, in her own way ensuring he hadn’t left yet.

Jonah and Henry had lots of Pokemon battles to make up for the nearly two months apart. Jonah had more legendaries, but Henry had strategy on his side.

“Uncle Spencer says using the right trainers at the right time is just as important as using good Pokemon.” Henry explained to Jonah. You rolled your eyes, of course the genius godfather had an expert opinion in the card game.

“How is Uncle Spencer?” You asked Henry offhandedly, grateful that little kids have few social reservations.

“He’s fine.” Henry answered. “He comes over to play when Mommy is sad.” This little tidbit was alarming. Did that mean he was there to take care of Henry? Or was he playing at something more? Why were you still jealous of the guy; you had already lost her? Your brain needed to stop. Was J.J. struggling? More importantly was she struggling like you were? You exhaled, returning to the dining room table and the boys’ match up.

“How is your mom, buddy?”

“Fine, Y/N.” Henry brushed off your interest as he reshuffled his cards. Jonah looked up from his cards, shaking his head at your blatant curiosity and boundary pressing. Why did your kid always have to be the perceptive one?  
_________________________________________  
She was early, as usual. She knocked on the door to your rental house, as you were convincing Lucy that dessert wasn’t an option EVERY night of the week. Her pouting face melting away as she realized who was behind the front door.

“JJ?!” Lucy squealed as she ran to the front hall. You were hot on her bare heels, your heart doing its own form of tap dance. Lucy whipped the door open wide and jumped out at JJ, with the unique fearlessness of a five year old. JJ’s impeccable reflexes and mother’s gentleness caught and gathered your girl into her embrace. As much as this hurt to witness, it felt so easily normal. Lucy adored JJ and JJ her.

“Hi!” You greeted your ex, as awkwardly as you felt. You waved her inside, “Henry is just packing up his binder in the living room.”

JJ glanced around, noticing the subtle changes from the couple months of not being there everyday. You had rearranged some furniture. The Y/L/N house had undergone a Feng Shui attempt to clear out the negative energy or something along those lines.

“Looks great in here, Y/N.” She kindly admitted. You smile, appreciating her obvious nervousness at being here, with you.

“The kids really miss Henry. Thanks for letting him come over today.” You added after a few minutes watching the kids distract each other from cleaning up.

“Y/N,” JJ started, her eyes darting between your collective pack of kids, “Henry, really misses Jonah and Lucy Goose too.” Her eyes were saying more. They were, right? In her eyes, you lost all space and time. Suddenly Henry was tugging on JJ’s arm.

“Mom, we should go to the park this weekend. There’s going to be a boat race, Jonah saw a flier.” JJ ruffled Henry’s straight locks.

“We’ll see, buddy” Her usual default response.

“If you’re in town, perhaps we’ll see you there?” You mentioned, off the cuff, leading them out the doorway. “Or if Will doesn’t have H this weekend, I could take him?” You were trying to keep the desperation out of your voice. This was how any other mom-friend would suggest things, right? She smiled gently at you.

“I’ll, uh, let you know. Thanks again.” She waved over her shoulder, her profiler eyes catching all the relief you felt as it passed over your face.  
_______________________________________  
JJ’s hands were gripping your Trapezius muscles, her fingernails digging in. Your coated lips were blowing on her sweet spot as you rocked the little vibrator against it. You looked up into her scrunched face, knowing that she was too overwhelmed to look back at you. Her toned legs were spread out before you. You sighed, even her orgasm face was gorgeous. She panted as your fingers worked her core, which was quickly tightening with her climax. “Shit, Y/N, thatsss, uh, mmmmm!” Her voice cut through the quiet night.

You sat up, alone in bed. Her taste a welcome memory lingering from your dream. You unconsciously rubbed your neck, remembering how the little half moons had speckled your skin for a week after that night. You went to grab some water to clear your throat. Was this going to happen each time you saw her? Perhaps it wasn’t smart to make plans with JJ and the kids so soon. You returned to bed and turned on the television for some distraction to send you back to sleep.  
_____________________________________  
“But, Mama!” Lucy whined, “Jonah says that the race starts at ten. Is he right or what?” You shake your head, pulling the brush through her tangles. You settled on little pony tail puffs because patience was not in your vocabulary yet at eight o’clock in the morning.

“Um, I’m not sure if he is right, but we can check again,” You explained, “AFTER you brush your teeth.

The morning bustle to get out of the door quickly on a weekend, kept you from overthinking your dream/memory. You were working down a list in your mind: 1. Dressed 2. Coffee 3. Breakfast 4. Kids dressed. 5. Everything else to get ready. 6. Get in the car, people!

Driving to the park took about ten minutes, parking was another ten, this mini boat race was some deal after all. You caught Jonah’s shining smile in the rear view mirror, it was a perfect contrast with his dark skin. “Ready, buddy?” You asked as he nodded enthusiastically. He was out of his seat and unbuckling Lucy as you got the bulky park essentials bag from the hatch. You let the man of the house lead the way today, since he was the one who had memorized the informational flier in the first place.

The playground was crawling with kids and clusters of parents conversing or pretending to as they scanned their phones. You brought one of the manuscripts with you and a plethora of pens to keep you occupied before the race started in a little under an hour.

“And I thought I worked too much,” JJ’s teasing voice called you out of your editing trance. You shielded your eyes to look up to her haloed outline. “Well, actually I know I do.” She admitted, sitting beside you on your tie blanket. You glanced at her, being all casual with you. What were you supposed to do with the utter friendliness?

“You seem to be doing alright balancing it all this week,” You complimented, keeping your eyes on the playground to keep actual thoughts and words forming in your head.

“Hotch gave us a week off, rough case and he has some family stuff he is working on.” JJ admitted. Some things never change, you thought ruefully. “So,” She added with purpose,”Henry said that you wanted to talk to me?”

Oh crap. Here it was, the karma for being too nosy the other day. Oh crap, what were you supposed to say to that? Your face was warm and you bit your bottom lip. “Um?” You mumbled, finally turning to actually look her in her curious face. You shook your head at her as the confusion you felt became obvious.

“Oh, man, did they try to parent trap us?” JJ asked, laughing nervously. She had a great laugh, even when she was forcing it.

You patted her hand in consolation, “It sounds like they got us, the stinkers.” Gently, she flipped her hand over, holding your smooth one in her rougher, stronger one. You caught your breath. Was this really happening? Her hands were always so warm, it felt so right around yours.

You were shaking, but held fast to her hand like the lifeline it was. “Y/N, I was stubborn, I never should have let you leave.” She leaned closer, sitting criss-cross apple sauce now. Her cerulean eyes honest and stormy. “I know we can’t fix everything overnight and that we need to be sure since the kids are involved. But I would really like to give this another shot, I’m not ready to give up on us.”

You were now crying, her confession and declaration felt like a fairy tale. “JJ, I’m am so sorry. I was so self conscious that I let my jealousy push us apart.” You held both of her hands now, fingers intertwining in nervous energy. “But I need to know that I am part of your life, the team needs to know about your whole family, babe. Not just Henry, Luce and Jonah too.”

She was letting the tears stream down her cheeks, listening to your conditions and nodding. She was agreeing! “They will, I can’t keep hiding my two worlds from each other. It has been so exhausting,” JJ exhaled, clearing her throat. “God, Y/N, I have missed you!” And she was kissing you, right there in the shade at the park. The salt from both your raw hearts flavored your needy mouths. Her soft pink lips pecking and nibbling yours.

“Eh, Gross!” An approaching voice called to you. You broke apart, self consciously, people were still not very gracious with women kissing in public. But it was just Jonah, being a nine year old boy, “Geez, Mama, save that for later!” His toothy grin flashed and he was off again, chasing Henry up a slide.  
______________________________________  
Five weeks later:

“Spencer,” You interrupted, “My publishing house covers some of the best Whovian novelizations on the market. Of course, I know who the Silurians are.”

The doctors’ brown eyes popped as Garcia cut in, “Seriously, Reid, don’t push her, she will surprise you!” Everybody laughed. JJ had her hand on your thigh below the table, the BAU finally meeting the mystery love that JJ had been hiding for so long.

“Guys, “ JJ stood, raising her glass, “I just wanted to thank you all for being so understanding with Y/N and I. I know I think I can keep things from you, but why bother anymore, right?”

“Here, here!” Morgan trumpeted.

“To the best team, an FBI agent could ask for, “JJ toasted, “ And most importantly: the strongest partner a woman could dream of!” She said as she turned and looked at your sparkling eyes. You stood and kissed her fiercely, finally a part of all that was important to her. The team cat called and whistled, but you didn’t hear a thing.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my tumblr. stunudo.tumblr.com Spring 2017 as a request.


End file.
